She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
