Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
