are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
