either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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