Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
