Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
