Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
