i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My bed smells like the plague
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
