you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Randomize
