I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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