we're blogging at a bar
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
