shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
