her vagine was all disorganized.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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