I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
