I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
