homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I love you. Go after that dick
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
