So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone