I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The beer is more important than you right now.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.