thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
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I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
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Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.