It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.