God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!