Are we in a gay sports bar?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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