We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
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I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
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I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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