but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize