I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
