were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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