Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
