strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
