Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
love makes seman taste better
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
