Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
