I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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