i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
