I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
