Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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