I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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