I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
