my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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