quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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