i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
