Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
