you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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