its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It was confusing and full of hummus
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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