I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think I won the penis lottery.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
