all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
