He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
