I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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