No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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