Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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