All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
