I met the friendliest cop last night
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
is it fun? or sober?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
