the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
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Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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