I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
