i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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