I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize