You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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