You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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