dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
