Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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