mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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