Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
