Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
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Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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