i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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