Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
you made out with another girl for some wings
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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