Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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