come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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